Inspiration and reminders in a list!

Principles - a list for unschooling by Claire Horsley on the 

Always Learning unschooling discussion board...

" ... - my relationship with my child comes first (any act of mine should promote a loving and respectful relationship with my child)

- arbitrary limits and controls do not promote such a relationship and should not be used

- strewing things, activities and opportunities is vital to creating a rich and vibrant learning environment

- I am my child's partner in negotiating the world; my child learns from my example

- I am energised by making conscious choices; feeling that I 'have to' do something drains my energy

- each child is a precious, unique person; it is a parent's joy to be able to nuture and encourage their child's individual personality..."

Cool huh?! Thank you Claire.

Guinea pig day!

Friday was Guinea Pig day! Rox has been loving guniea pigs for years. Photos here are a few of the many times over her life form about age 2.5-3 yrs old when we've visited the Collingwood Childrens Farm, Bundoora Farm, Macadamia Park Byron Bay, Budapest Zoo and other places where she can hold and pet guinea pigs and rabbits.

 

So anyway, Rox has been counting down the days and planning this day with her friend Bridie for a while. They were both very excited. Bridie already has a guinea pig and Rox has been asking for one months before we went to Europe. We agreed that on returning from Prague we would find some pet guinea pigs to join our family. 

And they truly are divine little creatures. We got 3 tiny baby guinea pig sisters! Sooo cute! We've built a great 'cage' for them - really quite large and have put it in Roxie's bedroom. It's like a dream having them here living with us!

So Friday we brought them home and Bridie came over with her piggie Squeak. The girls had such a lovely time cuddling them and making them snuggy places to hide etc.. B. stayed for dinner and afterwards she and Rox went to watch Creature Features a kids animal show made here in Australia. They are both animal crazy! It soo fortunate for Rox, that Bridie is down the road from us, another home educating family, I reckon they're unschoolers too, although they'd don't label what they do as such. 

Roxie is really happy with her pets. I know she really wants a dog too (and so does Darren!) but we'll settle with these gals for the moment - and Bluey Olive the blue tongue lizard that Rox also loves, and Sniffy the cat, our old cat that Daz and I found before we got married (!!!!) as a kitten dumped outside 'Friends of the Earth' organic food co-op where we volunteered. Of course we dearly love Sniffy too, even with all her furball vomits!! Maybe we've got the energy for a dog as well? We'll see. I know Rox would adore a dog. She'd love to have the relationship with a pet that one can have with a dog...She hasn't really asked and asked for one like she did the lizard and the piggies though. So maybe down the track. Oh, not to mention a horse! Rox'd LOVE a horse. We've talked about it and are still talking about it. Both Rox and April do pony rides as often as possible and Rox wants to take riding lessons (??) but I haven't found anywhere relatively close by that accepts her age. Only from 8 years old. So we can wait a bit. Rox is cool with that... for the moment!

quoting Sandra Dodd...

I love Sandra Dodd's writing. Such clarity  and honesty, and slices through any bullshit. This post from Sandra's Always Learning list struck a chord with me...there are many but I've only just thought of putting them here on the blog for me to be able to find and read again when I feel overwhelmed. (By the way the italics and bolding are mine to highlight for myself the key points!)

Re: keeping friends

Posted by: "Sandra Dodd" Sandra@SandraDodd.com  sandralynndodd

Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:38 am (PDT)

-=-I said something similar to the above, but it always feels like I'm 
going from nice person to bully in seconds flat. I think the trick is 
to say it, mean, and let it go.-=-

But it's not about being a different person, unless you're faking the 
niceness.

Here's a perfect example of why it's crucial to live by principles 
instead of by rules. If you have a rule that you will be nice to 
guests, that can be inviting a snake into the next. Even baby snakes 
can be poison.

If you live by the principle that your house will be thoughtful and 
peaceful, then you can defend that peace and that principle in all 
kinds of situations without having specific rules to cover them.

You can tell her without any bullying whatsoever that if she adds to 
the peace of your house, she's welcome to be there, but you wouldn't 
let strangers come in and yell and demand, and you won't let friends 
do it either.

-=-I never think I'm setting anyone up for a go-crazy day, but I might 
be. Have to watch that. With this friend, I am probably less worried 
about that happening than I am about her bullying me-=-

Think about peace and cooperation and joy, and that should prevent 
bullying. If you set the day up in ways that it's clear to the girls 
what fun thing you've planned and when and where the food will be and 
what their many options are, that's better than "anything on earth 
that will make you happy, you can have." That's beyond your power. 
It it were also beyond your principles, you'd be closer to balance.
http://sandradodd.com/balance

-=- I do have a hot temper, which I used to believe was just part of 
my personality. I have learned that I really can change parts of me 
that I am not happy with.-=-

http://sandradodd.com/breathing
http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully

-=Anyway, I think I will offer to take Emma and her friend somewhere 
and see how it goes. I'll just play out the possibilities in my head 
for a day before I do. (If she says this, I'll do this. If she does 
that, I'll do ____.) -=-

You could tell her you will take her if she will help make the day 
peaceful and happy. You could say "Do you have a more peaceful way to 
say that?" if she seems bullying, or some very-short reminder of your 
deal. Or you could not respond directly to whiney begging, but say 
"Let's go to the slides!" and head there happily yourself. Emotions 
can be contagious, moreso for some people than others I think, but if 
you be the way you want her to be, it will be easier for her to move 
toward that than if you seriously discuss happiness instead of being 
happy.

Still, if she crosses the line three or four times, it might be time 
to cut the day short, or to go back to the house and watch a quietish 
video, or to put some loud music on and dance--something that switches 
from conversation or acquisition mode to focus on something non-verbal 
and that isn't "to keep" anyway--like a movie, or dancing.

Sandra

the tricky how tos...

...just had a big emotional discussion/outpouring/revelation with Rox and I. She was in tears.

I'd suggested we try the gym class again to try and reconnect more with the other homeschoolers she liked in our community (who we were having trouble catching up with for one reason and another..). She seemed eager to give it another try. 

The class starts at 10:40am. Rox, April and I were playing a great game with the horses to fill in the time. Well they were playing, I just had to move the 3rd horse around following them! The girls always find something busy to do - they hate waiting round.  Rox had made hay and a water trough etc... in other words it became an involved game - I could see this was going to be tricky... it got to the time we needed to start getting ready to go. So far so good.  I prepared sandwiches, fruit and was ready. Told Rox it was probably a good time to get dressed and she raced to get ready! Great  i thought!

But then I heard the tears. Her undies were uncomfortable...her pants were the wrong color, nothing was right. The time we had to go had gone. We'd be late. Then I realized that there was something else going on. So I said of course we didn't need to go...more tears. Then it came out. So sad. She thought I wanted to go to gym for me so I could chat to my friends!!! Oh dear. So I sat down and we talked about it. I told here I thought she wanted to see her friends L & R more and this was a good way to connect on a regular basis. She was very emotional and my heart was open for her. She said she loved regular things. But she was unfamiliar (her word) with gym class. It became clear to me that she really loved the regularity of Thursday's play with Bridie and then going to dance class. She said gym class happened to soon after dance. She loved that playgym was a long period of time and it didn't matter if you were late. Basically Rox wants structure and regularity but not necessarily a class structure, although she also doesn't mind a class structure if there's a way of getting there and being there that works in with her play. She didn't want to interrupt  her great horse game with the 3 of us to rush to gym. She's ok about it with dance because she's with her friend beforehand and it's a great social/play/class event  all in one! The gym class always seems to become an imposition on her time. SOO. How to connect with the people she wants? I need to somehow set up a regular day to catch up with certain people. Mainly L & R. But they seem to have lots of stuff already booked in so there doesn't seem to be any clear regular day we can set up, although I've never seriously proposed it so feel like I need to do that. I'm thinking it'd be helpful for Rox if I start to make a beautiful weekly calender that states what happens when and to stick to it. She'd find that comforting I think. I will try and include one other class and get another friend or playdate tagged onto it beforehand. Or find an activity that happens after lunch. She seems to like slow mornings. Or if I say we're going to the zoo or some other excursion like that she seems ok to get ready because we can finish any games at our own pace and go when we're ready. It also means that I need to accept that she loves spending lots of time playing with me and April. 

It's funny 'cause I think some of the other homeschoolers think we're anti-routines and regularity. Which we're not. We enjoy and need rhythm in our days and weeks - just not necessarily the class and 'clock' based schedules!

learning maths...

Rox stated this morning, "...so 3 +3 = 6..." this was after making pretend playdoh birthday cakes for Nagymama (my mum) and playing with the candles to put on top. Rox was counting the candles. She noticed that April had 3, and she herself had 3 too. She counted the candles as 2 groups of 3. Then after her observation, she removed 1 candle from each group and said, "3 minus 1 leaves 2" , then noticed the 2 groups and said "2 times 2 is 4". She found it interesting but 'normal'!  I was amazed (well, I went to school and struggled with math and here's Roxie discovering numbers and their relationships all on her own) - she had discovered her own way of grouping and counting and used language she'd heard from I guess tv and aroundabout. We have never 'taught' her maths. She would've rolled her eyes at me if I'd even started to! What I love is how she found her own understanding. It was a classic moment for me. And I'd forgotten about it till tonight. We then Skyped Mum for her birthday because she's in Ballina at the moment with my sister Ja! 

And to think I was frustrated and depressed out of my head tonight with how intense this unschooling thing is still...I need to work out a few things ...playdates and a few other extra bits, and I'm still such a complainer!!...argh. but really, I have to admit,  it's going great!

illness strikes...bugs save the day

I've been out of action for a few days due to bad bronchial coughs or flu or cold of some sort. I just love my homeopathics, herbal potions, vitamins and organics fruit and veges. They kicked it in a couple of days... oh that and a couple of early nights 8:30pm (!!!!!!) and restful kinda days. The girls were very patient with their sick, grumpy, complaining old mother!! Illness brings out the worst in me...particularly angriness and resentfulness...pah...I was apologising to Rox and April every second for being rude and cantankerous. But we did discover Disney movie trailers online whilst we were all lying on the couch together! The 'It's a Bugs Life' DVD trailer (underneath the longer blue ray one) was a hit! They watched it about 50 times for the precious moment in the bug bar when the waiter cries out "Who ordered the poo poo platter???" they cracked up with laughter every time. It cheered me up hugely too. Poo poo is HUGE in our family at the moment. Especially for April! But Rox loves the joke too.  The girls haven't really seen any big movies yet. Rox has always been very concerned about scariness factor and boomy noise and sound design. She got the idea from some trailers she's seen that freak her out. She's very sensitive I guess. April is the same sensitive but in different way....

So we've never really seen more than trailers. All in good time. I'm certainly looking forward to the day that they seem ok and ready for a good movie!

Movie Night!

Hey Daz and i got to watch a dvd tonight! Yippee! We haven't been doing that much at all because we're just too tired or keep prioritising cleaning up (what? how crazy is that??!!) 

So we finally decided to chill out, grabbed a few dvds and enjoyed the final of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy 'The Return of the King'. I love a bit of good old fantasy! Particularly sophisticated fantasy made by a director who I knew from films like 'Attack of the Killer Tomatos' and 'Meet the Feebles'...

Anyway it got me thinking that I really would like to go through and list my favorite movies and books. Especially books. I love so many and some have made a huge impact on me. So when I have a 'free' moment next (ha ha!) I would like to go through my book case and list my faves. It'd be a walk down memory lane too. I love it how remembering a book can zoom my mind straight back to the time and place I read it, what I was thinking at the time and where I was at in my head.... Anyway blah blah... 

I really did enjoy watching the movie with Daz. We used to do it all the time. Big movie buffs. I'd like to prioritise more time doing things like that together... 

And we're looking forward to the day that Rox and April are up for  movies that have more meat (for me and Daz, purely selfish) than Little Einsteins, Barney and Barbie's Thumbelina. Rox has always been really super senstive with stuff she watches so she's quite picky. Shows need to be very nice and NO scary bits. Even the Barbie Thumbelina was a bit much. The first time she watched I sat with her and we paused and I explained any confusing or angry bits to her. She'd been admiring the cover of this dvd in the shops for ages so when I found a copy on special I got it for her. Wow was she thrilled! So she was quite determined to see it! She eventually likes to watch things a million times if it appeals at all, which is what she did with this one. Now she's pretty over it, and has a new obsession with Bindi the Jungle Girl and other Animal shows!