I'd suggested we try the gym class again to try and reconnect more with the other homeschoolers she liked in our community (who we were having trouble catching up with for one reason and another..). She seemed eager to give it another try.
The class starts at 10:40am. Rox, April and I were playing a great game with the horses to fill in the time. Well they were playing, I just had to move the 3rd horse around following them! The girls always find something busy to do - they hate waiting round. Rox had made hay and a water trough etc... in other words it became an involved game - I could see this was going to be tricky... it got to the time we needed to start getting ready to go. So far so good. I prepared sandwiches, fruit and was ready. Told Rox it was probably a good time to get dressed and she raced to get ready! Great i thought!
But then I heard the tears. Her undies were uncomfortable...her pants were the wrong color, nothing was right. The time we had to go had gone. We'd be late. Then I realized that there was something else going on. So I said of course we didn't need to go...more tears. Then it came out. So sad. She thought I wanted to go to gym for me so I could chat to my friends!!! Oh dear. So I sat down and we talked about it. I told here I thought she wanted to see her friends L & R more and this was a good way to connect on a regular basis. She was very emotional and my heart was open for her. She said she loved regular things. But she was unfamiliar (her word) with gym class. It became clear to me that she really loved the regularity of Thursday's play with Bridie and then going to dance class. She said gym class happened to soon after dance. She loved that playgym was a long period of time and it didn't matter if you were late. Basically Rox wants structure and regularity but not necessarily a class structure, although she also doesn't mind a class structure if there's a way of getting there and being there that works in with her play. She didn't want to interrupt her great horse game with the 3 of us to rush to gym. She's ok about it with dance because she's with her friend beforehand and it's a great social/play/class event all in one! The gym class always seems to become an imposition on her time. SOO. How to connect with the people she wants? I need to somehow set up a regular day to catch up with certain people. Mainly L & R. But they seem to have lots of stuff already booked in so there doesn't seem to be any clear regular day we can set up, although I've never seriously proposed it so feel like I need to do that. I'm thinking it'd be helpful for Rox if I start to make a beautiful weekly calender that states what happens when and to stick to it. She'd find that comforting I think. I will try and include one other class and get another friend or playdate tagged onto it beforehand. Or find an activity that happens after lunch. She seems to like slow mornings. Or if I say we're going to the zoo or some other excursion like that she seems ok to get ready because we can finish any games at our own pace and go when we're ready. It also means that I need to accept that she loves spending lots of time playing with me and April.
It's funny 'cause I think some of the other homeschoolers think we're anti-routines and regularity. Which we're not. We enjoy and need rhythm in our days and weeks - just not necessarily the class and 'clock' based schedules!
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